2023: Reflections and the year ahead

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves. 

Wild Geese, Mary Oliver

It’s 7am on Boxing Day. I can hear birds chattering furiously outside my window. The washing machine is on its spin cycle downstairs and the eldest of my small children has just bounded down the steps without my customary hug and hello, eager to play on the new computer game he received yesterday. 

I’m reflecting on 2023.

After a 21 year relationship and several years of separation, 2023 started off with notice of both my divorce papers coming through and of winning the inaugural Ross Todd award for Outstanding Research Project based on my teaching of information literacy using coaching skills. That, combined with school turmoil for my eldest and asthma-attack related visits to the hospital for my youngest, left me in a somewhat mixed emotional state.

Self-compassion and connection were my guiding words for 2023. For the last few years, I have chosen a word to guide me. Previously, they have included words such as energy, love, fun, and dignity. Last year I chose the two. Reader, to loosely quote Brené Brown - I did the best I could with the tools I had.

I struggled (and still struggle) with both of those concepts. I am independent, self-sufficient-ish and, because I spend so much time helping and advising others as part of my job role, I can become ‘peopled out’ and forget to connect with others more generally. I can also be quite hard on myself. Checking in with those words throughout the year reminded me to be kinder to myself, and to send emails asking people to meet. I even tried a friends meet-up app (with dubious results but I haven't given up yet - I don't know how people cope with dating apps!). 

I gained new tools by going to therapy. This helped to some extent but what helped more was talking to colleagues whom I also consider friends. They’ve lifted me up over this last year and for that I am truly grateful. Inspired by journalist, Poorna Bell, and a colleague, I also took myself out intentionally when I had the opportunity. It was an odd experience but one I am keen to do more of.

My general aims and plans for 2023 were:

• to have lots of fun with my two little ones - this I did. We went to the woods, to the beach, to nature trails, museum trails, theatre, cinema, Go Ape, I learned to play Mario Kart - badly. I also joined the gym as it has kids and family clubs which has been enjoyable, and given me much needed headspace

Magical creatures in the woods

Playing by the sea

• focus on my PhD - this I did. I passed my review with 30,000 words written and lots of positive comments as well as helpful advice. I had a day out at the British Library which I enjoyed
• blend my professional interests - this I have been working on. I was accepted to present at three conferences. Two I could do as they were online and one I had to withdraw, due to childcare reasons. My presentations focussed on coaching and compassion in higher education. As a result of these talks I was invited to lead a LTHE Twitter/X chat on compassion in universities and I am increasingly being asked to deliver teaching sessions related to coaching, mentoring, compassion and mindfulness. I remain a primary school wellbeing governor and have recently participated in conversations on academic identities, uplifting those of working class origins, and compassion in higher education so I look forward to seeing where they go.

For 2024? 

I won’t be bounding into the new year. I’m giving myself permission to step slowly, purposefully and with intention. There are no grand ambitions. I’ll be supporting my children with what has been a rough few years for them. I’ll be walking in woods, by rivers and visiting the sea. I’ll be clearing weeds and smelling roses. I will not be applying to present anywhere this year and will instead be focussing on writing. 

With regards my PhD, I am already revisiting old favourites in the form of Freire, Fromm and hooks for my research philosophy. They write of the different types of love, of being rather than having, and remind me that love is a verb. Love and compassion are needed at all levels of the education sector. Dr Jenny Lawrence writes eloquently on this topic

The message from my tea was clear!

And so I am choosing love again for my word. Not in the romantic sense, but in how it shows up in the actions we take - in friendships, in work, in our environment, in family and in self-care. I’ve spent the last few years trying to figure things out and I’ve been called ‘a superwoman’ numerous times for the amount of plates I’m spinning. While this is given as a complement, I don’t want the title. It’s exhausting and full of pressure. Instead, as Mary Oliver suggests, I am going to let the ‘soft animal of my body, love what it loves’. 

What about you? Do you have goals or themes for 2024? Are you proud of how 2023 turned out or relieved and grateful you are still here to tell your story? What are you giving yourself permission to do?

2022: Reflections and the year ahead

 

"The stars began to burn

Through the sheets of clouds

And there was a new voice

Which you slowly recognised as your own"

                                                            The Journey, Mary Oliver

Another year and another Mary Oliver quotation from me. This one is from The Journey and I think it is my favourite.

I have been wondering on and off whether to share an end of year post this time round. It has been a significant year for transitions and tribulations and they are far from over. 

Like the previous year, 2022 didn't get off to a great start. The kids and I had Covid at the same time as I had some of my big online teaching sessions. Hospital trips followed as it affected my youngest’s asthma. On reflection, I should have postponed my teaching but at the time the thought of rearranging everything felt worse than pushing through.

Fortunately; dear reader, it started to pick up...

One of my intentions last year was to have lots of fun trips and adventures with my little ones. We definitely achieved this in 2022. We  went to adventure parks, a local festival, Go Ape challenges (I still haven’t mastered the best way to go down a zip wire!), a circus, the Legoland hotel for my son’s birthday (expensive but amazing), National Trust places, lots of parks and woods, plus we went to Centerparcs for the first time for my big birthday. I also drove (5 hours!) to see my parents in Morecambe. While I can’t afford to repeat this in quite the same way next year, I want to continue getting out and about to share joyful experiences with them.

Getting outdoors

Lego room

I had my research proposal accepted in April which was both exciting and scary. I am enjoying the process enormously and learning so much but, as expected when I signed up, progress is slow. This is something I need to get used to given the other demands on my time and energy.

Workwise, I took a step back from speaking at conferences and events to focus on the newly accredited programmes and pathways to Advance HE status as well as my PhD. Other than Springboard, which I’ve done for a few years now, I chose not to speak at anything in 2022. I was happy to put this aside as I had spoken at many events in the previous few years. I now intend to start this up again going forwards and will present again but only on areas directly related to my work or my research.

In May, I received my 500-hour Yoga Alliance International certificate which felt like a great achievement after everything that’s happened over the last few years. Since then I’ve been teaching yoga nidra at work and incorporating the philosophy and asana into my teaching. I also had a coaching article published this year too which I enjoyed writing. I’m looking forward to finding out how I can start to blend my coaching work with yoga, reflection and academic professional development.

I still write for The Academic Woman and I continue to be a wellbeing primary school governor. I find these positions rewarding and will remain in them so long as I can add value. 

Aims and plans for 2023:

For 2022, I chose the word dignity as my word of the year. It was a useful check-in throughout the months, and it can be easy to lose when there are challenging situations. I may have been spotted a tad tearful in the vicinity more than once but, in general, it was a good anchor.

This year I have chosen two – self-compassion and connection. The first is because too many people have recently told me I need to be kind to myself. I am listening! The second is because I spent some of 2022 re-establishing connections with people and it has been really lovely. This is something I want to increase and maintain.

My general aims and plans for 2023 then are:

• to have lots of fun with my two little ones
• focus on my PhD
• blend my professional interests
• consider the steps I need to take to get to Reader. (At one point, I wouldn’t have considered this but several people recently have told me they would support me if I did - so, I can but have a look)

Last year, I wrote I would go gently into the new year armed with compassion and friendship. As there are more changes (both positive and negative) on the horizon at work, some significant schooling challenges coming my way, and a literature review to write, this approach is more necessary than ever. 

I am hopeful. And when I am not, I will reread The Journey.  

I would love to know what your plans, goals and hopes are for 2023.

 

2021: Reflections and the year ahead

                                   "Tell me, what is it you plan to do, with your one wild and precious life" 

                                                            The Summer Day, Mary Oliver

I love Mary Oliver's poetry. I only have one book of hers, Devotions, but it always has a poem for every occasion and mood. This quote resonates right now for me as I think about my next steps, especially as I meet a big birthday next year. 

It's been difficult to blog this year, just as it was in 2020.

2021 didn't get off to a good start as the inevitable January lockdown in England was announced. We all knew it was coming but as the school closures were announced I, like many others, did cry as I wondered how I would manage. At times it didn't feel like it was going to get better, especially as it finally became official that my 21 year relationship had disintegrated too.

It would be remiss of me; however,  not to reflect on this year as I spend so much of my working life extolling the virtues of reflection!

Positives and challenges

Professional:

I followed up my previous presentations for Advance HE on coaching and academic practice by speaking at their HE Wellbeing Symposium about embedding coaching techniques into our accredited professional development programme. The focus was on time and space, something I feel that has been reduced for many over the years, and especially during the pandemic.

I continued my regular contributions to The Academic Woman magazine and was delighted to be invited to deliver a webinar for them and later to be invited to their editorial panel. I like working with this group  - our values align and they are filling a real gap in the market.

The Advance HE pathways I lead have gone from strength to strength which has been a relief, with the introduction of online writing retreats and a coaching programme. The thing I was most proud of; however, was being invited to the Special Libraries Association Europe and International Conferences. In the European one I was asked to speak about resilience and thriving. It was quite personal and the feedback was lovely - I really hope it helped people consider what they can control in the times we are living in. As you know from my social media, I am a bell hooks and Brene Brown fan. They both speak about showing vulnerability to encourage authenticity and courage, yet Brene warns about sharing issues you are still working through so it was a careful balance as to what to include.

Personal

I am still volunteering as a primary school governor, and still working on my 300 hour yoga teacher training certificate. The former has allowed me to learn and hopefully contribute to the school and the latter has been for my own personal interests - I have really enjoyed it, especially the yin yoga and yoga nidra elements of it. 

As lockdown eased,  I was able to continue the woodland and river walks, and arrange some trips with my children, including a lovely trip with fantastic views in Poole. 

In addition, I have completed my research proposal and have submitted it so hopefully I will be able to start a PhD this year.

Birthday walk by the river at Cliveden

Poole views

Aims and plans for 2022:

For 2021, I chose the word Energy as my word of the year. It was a useful check-in throughout the months but it's time for another one. I'm still deciding but in the meantime, my aims and plans for next year are:

• to have lots of fun with my two little ones.
• enjoy my 'big' birthday
• complete my 300hr YTT course which will then qualify me as a 500 hour YTT
• like last year, still plan amazing ' one-day' future adventures (I want to see waterfalls, cherry blossom and still dreaming of seeing the northern lights)
• start work on my PhD - eep!

I appreciate it is going to take a while for me to find self-acceptance and self-esteem again so I aim to go slowly and gently into the new year armed with compassion and friendship. 

I would love to know what your plans, goals and hopes are for 2022. Please feel free to use the comments.

Self-transformation: how dragons and fairies led the way to yoga, coaching and lifelong learning

As some of you may know, I recently completed a 200hour yoga teacher training course. I enjoyed it so much I signed up almost immediately to the more advanced 300hour course. One may wonder why when I already have a full-time job teaching and supporting academics and undergraduates; a young family; a school governor role and the embryonic start of a PhD to keep me busy!

I was set an assignment recently on the topic of self-transformation. It provides an answer of sorts to the question above and it links together some of the areas I am passionate about - coaching, lifelong learning and yoga - which is why I thought it would be appropriate to share it here. Transformation is a fluid, rather than a linear process and the 'final' state is very much a moving picture. It's quite personal so please be kind...

2020: Reflections and the year ahead

I wasn't sure whether to write a reflection post this year. I feel grateful that I've got through 2020 and I know that, despite many challenges, I am one of the lucky ones - I still have my job, my children and no-one I know has died from Covid. But I know that many aren't so fortunate - they have lost jobs, homes and loved ones. I don't want to add to comparison-itis, something I mentioned in last year's reflection post.

I teach others about the importance of reflection so I have decided to go ahead: writing my thoughts helps me to process them and it is often enlightening to go back several months or even years later.

I started 2020 with a determined sense of purpose. Having gone through a tough few years, I was ready to get back into writing, presenting, and expanding my travelling experiences. In preparation, I renewed the family passports in January and earmarked Eurostar tickets - isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?! I also wanted to increase my work from home time. I did gain this at least in 2020 but I wasn't banking on two small children being with me for the majority of it!

Being organised when there are multiple demands on your time

I recently wrote a blog post on tools I use to keep organised. It was one of my most popular posts so, keeping with a theme, I thought I’d share with you how I make the most of time. Take from it what you find useful and ignore the rest.

I’ve read we all have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé. That, of course, is true but most of us tend to live very different lifestyles and time can feel very different when there are numerous demands on it.

I also think many tips on productivity seem to be written by (and for) people who are able to get a full night’s rest whenever they choose, have a cleaner or family on hand to help out, or just don’t have young, gorgeous but quite sticky mitts and faces to extricate from work clothes.

So, here’s some of the ways I make it work:

Consider what we’re saying yes to:

I was asked this question by a coach. What are you agreeing to and why? Do you want to be signed up for these things? For example, a lot of women who go on maternity leave end up taking up the slack when it comes to house-hold stuff because they are home. Their main role is supposed to be keeping the new baby alive and content and healing themselves. When they go back to work those tasks don’t seem to be divvied up again. This happened to me too, despite me being the one who works full-time. My only solution so far is to reduce what I have and only buy essential stuff. This makes cleaning and tidying easier.

One thing I have said yes to is walking across campus for meetings. I like to keep this even though it may seem inefficient. It gets me away from the computer and outside for my daily Vitamin D. It also reminds anyone who sees me that I still exist beyond email!

Consider what we’re saying no to:

By saying yes to some things, we are automatically saying no to others. By being conscious of the reasons we are saying no we can do so calmly and without guilt. I’ve been saying no to some things recently. Even though I’d like to do them, they don’t quite add enough value to be worth giving up other stuff I want to do. I know I just don’t have the capacity to take on ‘all the things’ and wouldn’t do the job well. It’s good to keep pushing at the edges (that’s where the interesting stuff happens) but not get to the point where we can’t cope.

Chunking (and protecting) time:

On very busy days I will schedule all my meetings back to back in a centrally located space. It’s halfway located between my office and theirs so shows compromise. If people are late they get less time. If they need more they will then need to make another appointment – currently I don’t have a limit on these but this may change in future. It means I don’t offer an extra well-meaning ten minutes for someone who’s very late. I also chunk marking, email and writing up observation forms.

Using liminalities of time: 

Conversely, there’s always time in between meetings. Time where people have failed to show up. Time in between appointments. I keep a book, a notepad and my phonecharger on me at all times so I can always make the most of those precious few minutes. I don’t start big tasks here or ones that require too much concentration, like marking, but I might start planning something which I can pick up later or answer a few emails. 

Being aware of and using energy wisely: 

Many productivity gurus will say get up at 5am. They'll say use this time to journal, meditate and go for a run. When you don’t know when the kids will wake up and have no-one to watch them while you go for a shower (never mind a run) this can be tricky. I’m generally up at 5.45am every morning (not out of choice) and still get woken up several times through the night (this isn’t as frequent as it used to be) so sleep is a BIG priority. I am also at my most creative and productive in the mornings. As a result, where possible I schedule my teaching, training, planning and writing for then. I aim to have my meetings in the afternoon. I never skip meals as I know this wrecks my energy levels. I can't do large bouts of exercise without being interrupted but can just about do ten minutes of yoga or HIIT with the children and cat climbing on me and joining in - this keeps my energy and sanity levels okay-ish.

Being present with my children

Evenings and weekends are for my children. They are young and need, nay, demand my attention! I’m happy to give it to them. While I still check my phone occasionally to avoid any nasty surprises come Monday morning, I rarely answer email then. This is the time when I take us all to the woods which I find benefits us all. When they’ve gone to sleep, I have about two hours to have dinner then choose to either blog, do my yoga course, plan my coaching business or read. Or just go to bed.

What are your tips and tricks? What are you saying yes and no to? Where are you using your energy? Leave a comment below. 

2019: Reflections and the year ahead

'You don't have to move fast or far. 

You can go just an inch. 

You can mark your progress breath by breath' 

Cheryl Strayed.

There seems to be a panic in the air, or at least over social media, about the upcoming decade. People are listing their achievements and challenges from the last ten years while others are complaining that it creates a fervour of comparison-itis. There are posts all over the place saying 'make this the decade that counts' or words to similar effect. It can be exhausting.

We all have our own personal challenges and areas we want to grow and flourish in.

It can be so difficult to not compare, especially when brought up in a culture of scarcity, and then berate ourselves for falling short.

Every December I post about the challenges and positives I have experienced in the previous year with some overarching aims for the next. This year is no different. My goals are not just short-term actions to do and tick off. Instead, they help me move towards the type of person I want to be - a healthier, happier, more present version of myself.

Writing these helps me reflect and I like having something to come back to later on down the line when I'm having a bad day/week/month and realise that while I may sometimes be moving slowly -  I am still moving! Having children can slow us down and this comes with both positives and negatives. I hope this helps you in some way too.

I've considered choosing a word like some do to guide my life. I like the idea but can't come to a decision - I am currently hovering between 'love' and 'flourish'. The former has been inspired by bell hook's book 'All about Love'. Another post on this will come later.

So on with my year:

Positives

Health: One of my aims was to spend more time away from my desk at lunchtime and increase my exercise. We had a gorgeous summer in the UK so this made it much easier. I ate lunches outside and I held lots of my coaching and meetings outdoors too. This had a positive impact on my mental health and helped others too. I reduced my alcohol intake to almost nothing (apart from an erroneous week in May) which increased my patience and clarity. I increased my exercise by doing HIIT and yoga most mornings. The HIIT increased my energy levels and while I found it too much to do every morning (trying to exercise with two small children and a cat is challenging!) I now have a regular-ish routine.

Home: A goal I had last year was to visit more places with my children before my eldest went to primary school. This was successful - I took them to Cardigan Bay in Wales, Legoland, Corfe Castle, Brownsea Island, various National Trust beaches, Whipsnade, Stonehenge, Avebury, and numerous parks and woods around the country. The kids and I had a lovely time together and this is something I will continue doing at the weekends and holidays. I also had most of my fences fixed (and sold stuff to pay for it so a decluttering win too) which means the kids can play outside more.

Work: I completed my coaching qualification and learned a lot about myself in the process. I submitted my Advance HE Senior Fellowship. I survived a restructure and took on a lot of new responsibilities for which I've received amazing feedback about. I was also headhunted for a really interesting job. A TIP: Always keep your CV up to date!

Challenges

Work: See above! A restructure and losing valuable members of our team was difficult and they are missed. I wasn't successful with the position I was headhunted for; however, it has opened up my eyes to my own value and the possibilities available. It gave me the opportunity to question and confirm my priorities and values so I am grateful.

Health/Home: There have been appointments, pain, operations and hospital stays for the majority of my family this year, myself included. It has led to much upset. Ultimately, we can only have so much influence and control. I use a technique with my students using the Circle of Concern and the Sphere of Influence - I have found it valuable myself in these situations.

Aims for 2020

• Keep being present and do interesting activities/trips with my children
• Complete the Yoga Teacher Training I have recently started. I'm looking forward to this as it is the perfect format for someone who works full-time and has two young children to support. I'll be looking for people to practice on...
• Maintain my coaching and mentoring - I intend to become accredited in the future so will be building up my hours. Let me know if you'd like to help me with this.
• Maintain my Mindfulness workshops - I will start to align these with my yoga course as it progresses
• Get out more - in work and home. I haven't been attending or speaking at events for a couple of years and I'm now ready to start doing this again.

How did you develop last year? What do you plan to do in 2020? Feel free to reply in the comments, especially if you can help me in my aims or I can help you in yours!

How I stay organised.

There has recently been lots of discussion on LinkedIn and Twitter about how to stay organised. I suspect it is because of the perfect storm that September brings: a new and busy term; new students; new modules and, possibly, new stationery.

Some people buy new clothes in September or a new pencil case. As I’m conscious of the environment and try to lead a fairly uncluttered existence (apart from my books, which is a different story – pun not intended), the only new item I purchase is a Leuchtterm 1917 dotted hardback journal* in a bright colour. This year’s is yellow.

I used to be all about the tech. I still am to some extent (I have a hybrid approach) but then I discovered the Bullet Journal. I’ve been using this method for about four years now since I returned to work after my first maternity leave. I don’t know if this was a coincidence or I just felt the need to physically write more.

The process: 

I started with an old Moleskine* I’d picked up from a conference to try out the method. You don’t need to go out and buy something new – I suspect many of you have many, many notebooks lying around. I’ve tried various habit trackers and layouts and have decided that simple is best. No beautiful, intricate drawings of weather formations for me sadly. Purely utilitarian with the occasional hint of washi tape when I’m feeling fancy. I think that’s why I like the bright colours as a compromise.

My notebook contains:

• A contents list 
• A future log (a layout of the 12 calendar months across two pages) 
• Numbered pages (Moleskine didn’t have these and there is no way I am going to number all the pages)

Each month has: 

• A gratitude list – I list one thing I’m grateful for each day (proven to improve happiness) 
• An overarching big to-do list
• A week plan which I create every Friday afternoon
• An end of month reflection where I ask myself questions such as – what was the most memorable part of this month, what were the three biggest lessons, how am I different this month compared to last, what am I grateful for and three things to improve (these questions were taken from the Passion Planner* pdf)

Each week has: 

• My overarching roles and goals so I can ensure I do something, no matter how small, towards them each week (this idea was taken from Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of effective people*) 
• My meetings transferred from Outlook 
• The tasks I want to work on 
• My favourite thing this week (this definitely helps when I think I’ve had a rubbish week)

At the end of the week, I will review it and plan the next one. I won’t plan any further than that if I can help it. Although recurring appointments do go in my Outlook. Longer term plans go on a separate page or in the Future Log. I use pages as I go along to take notes in meetings or collect ideas around a particular topic and make sure I log them all in the contents page. That’s what I like about the bullet journal – it’s so much more flexible and personal than any other type.





Some other organisation tools I use:

Evernote (I’ve gone down to the basic option now I use my bullet journal).
I use this to draft blog posts and capture the odd random thought that I have when I don’t have my bullet journal with me

Twitter Likes/Favourites 

If I see something I might come back to then I will ‘like’ it. It will be sent by IFTTT to Evernote where I will go through them periodically and categorise them.

Feedly

I’m signed up to blog posts on education, yoga, coaching and smallholding and can catch up with most of the posts in one place. As more people move towards sending newsletters this has become trickier and I find I am using it less.

LinkedIn and Facebook saved articles

I occasionally see something here and save it but often forget about it. Luckily it will often pop up somewhere else too!

iPhone calendar

I’ve just set up a shared calendar with my husband now that my eldest has started school. This lets us share when appointments are happening, when I am working from home so I can pick him up or vice versa, and general events happening. It means we don’t need to talk to each other as much. Just kidding, sort of!


Dropbox

This is great for when I’m working from home. It also means that when the laptop dies everything is still available from whatever device I am using. It’s also been useful in the past for sharing documents but I don’t need to do this very often now.

Trello

Inspired by Cathy Mazak, the Academic Writing Coach, I have started to log my Performance Development goals as projects. I hope to use it to help me write more too. I’ll let you know how it goes.

This currently works for me. When or if it stops I will gravitate towards something else. Just because something works for one person doesn't mean it will necessarily work for you but there's no harm in giving it a go.

How do you stay organised?

*affiliate link to keep me in chocolate and to see if this whole coaching academics and writing about it might bring new opportunities. I only recommend what I use and like.

My two year anniversary as an Academic Practice lecturer

It’s my two year anniversary as an Academic Practice lecturer. The first year whizzed by as I was on maternity leave. Yes, I started the job two weeks before I left to have a baby. Foolhardy or brave?  On whose part - mine or my employers?

I’ve learned a lot this following year. Working with new academics has been a pleasure. I’ve seen them flourish as they gain confidence. I’ve cried as they revealed the history behind their teaching philosophies. I’ve been grateful for the positive feedback they left me. 

Working with more established academics to gain accreditation has been eye opening. I’ve worked with them previously for years but in a different context. Who knew that some would be as challenged by time management as the students they complain about?! They are also the ones who tend to be the most appreciative of the time I spend with them.

The new PhD students I teach on their Introduction to Teaching days are so ambitious but are one of the most at risk groups of being exploited. They are often lost and confused when I meet them as they most often have never taught before and are trying to gain experience. Providing some reassurance is often the most helpful thing I can do for these people.

Introductions & expectations

Getting ready to discuss values

And the people I have been coaching while getting my qualification, as well as my new clients? It’s an absolute honour, as well as quite a responsibility, to be part of their journey and growth. I’ve enjoyed every moment of it.

What next?

Restructures have meant more work as well as increased opportunities, as I’m able to put my own stamp on things. Balancing it with childcare, domestic tribulations and school logistics is challenging to say the least. I am intending to submit my Senior Fellowship application very soon and there are some interesting projects based around Equality and Wellbeing on the horizon. I will be building up my coaching experience alongside this.

Oh, and I’ve just found out I’ve passed my probation. 

Happy anniversary! 

What I learned from training to be a Performance Coach in Higher Education

What have you learned recently, either professionally or personally? Have you found there has been an overlap between the two?

This year I trained and qualified to be a performance coach with the Institute of Leadership and Management. This is something I’ve wanted for myself for a while now so I was thrilled to finally receive my certificate. I learned a lot during the course. I increased my knowledge of the skills, behaviours and techniques required to become an ethical, non-judgemental coach who could successfully support someone else in the achievement of their goals. I also learned a lot about myself. I’ve picked out a few things below which might resonate with you too:

I can be determined when it matters:

When something enters my life that I am passionate about, it is all consuming. My determination to succeed at this meant I was motivated and organised. This was on top of starting a new job and still waking up through the night to feed my youngest. I took on board feedback, kept my learning logs and diaries up to date as I went along and met all my deadlines. I made it work by incorporating it into every aspect of my life. I practised my coaching skills in almost every conversation I could, even with my kids. Especially with my kids.

I experience the same highs and lows as everyone else

I went from 'the peak of inflated expectations' to 'the trough of disillusionment' about a third way into the course. Prior to taking the course, I’d read books, journal articles, watched videos and attended workshops. I had thought I knew a lot about coaching. It turns out, unsurprisingly, that sustained practise is completely different and much more intense than I'd realised. I seriously started to doubt that I could do it in the way I had envisaged. I had wanted this for a long time and it felt really miserable that I might not actually be any good at it. I have been aware of the Gartner Hype Cycle for years now so going back to it helped me realise I would get there soon enough and this is something I sometimes share with my students and clients to help motivate them.

Gartner Hype Cycle

Connections are important and take effort

During the coaching, I worried that I couldn’t connect with people. This was a concern because it is a crucial element of forming a coaching relationship. I’ve always preferred to read rather than socialise. There were difficulties with having friends when I was younger. Then circumstances in my marriage also meant maintaining friendships was challenging. On the other hand, I’ve always had jobs where I listen to people and provide them with what they need, or at least the skills to find it for themselves. People will stop me in the street to talk to me. They tell me I am calming and make them feel better, listened to and motivated. Reading my testimonials has given me confidence in this area and I'm aware that there's nothing like being given undivided attention to make people feel special.

Self-consciousness is not self-awareness

As I progressed through the course, my self-consciousness gave way to self-awareness. I could knowingly use various skills, models and techniques in the appropriate context and enable that ‘aha’ moment to occur. I learned that environment is incredibly important - one of my clients became visibly uncomfortable when we had to use a lecture room - which to her was associated with stress and pressure. I won’t make that mistake again. I now try to go outside whenever possible though of course, in Britain, that has its own challenges. I have had people telling me I am good and recommending me. My supervisor told me I could look harsh when closed but when open I had a rapport that he wished he could bottle. I'm becoming aware of when I have unreasonable expectations of others and at the same time I am learning to put boundaries in place.

A coaching culture benefits everybody in an organisation, not just management

Everyone in my organisation is technically entitled to access a coach. This is amazing. Yet it isn't taken up in the quantities you would expect, perhaps because it is perceived as something for management or for remedial action. Yet, you don’t have to be a qualified coach to use the skills with other people. Supervisors can ask open questions to doctoral researchers to help them understand their topic more. Tutors can paraphrase and summarise a student’s comment to ensure they have understood it correctly and increase confidence. Managers can help their staff work towards purposeful and realistic goals. And everybody would benefit from improving their non-judgemental listening skills.

I have gained a lot both personally and professionally from becoming qualified as a Performance Coach and I would like to thank Bernie Croft of Brunel of Brunel University London and Don Greenwood of Metice Development Solutions for accepting me on the course.

What have you been learning recently and what impact has this made on you? Have you signed up for something that will be starting shortly? I'd be delighted if you shared your experiences in the comments

What are you proud of?

When people ask me what I’m proud of I usually think of how I’ve made others think and feel. I reflect on my coaching and teaching all the time – how can I improve it; what went right/wrong etc. When it comes to life events I don’t tend to celebrate but then I try not to ruminate either – it’s a protective mechanism. Inspired by a recent post I read, I started making a list:

• Getting into university despite those close to me saying I shouldn't and being homeless when taking my A Levels. I tanked my A Levels which my parents said they were happy about as it would ‘show me’ but the uni let me in anyway! 
• Moving to London from Yorkshire (yes it was to follow a boy but I still made the move ‘down south’ which I’d been warned about)
• I completed my Masters in my 20s when working full-time, suffering PTSD and severe depression while also being a carer for the boy (now husband).
• Being awarded an all-expenses paid trip to a conference in Chicago because of my work achievements. I found out on the same day I was offered a new job.
• Being named a Lis-Network Rising Star
• Being nominated for a student-led teaching award despite not being a year into my new role
• Presenting at two conferences on compassion and customer service while suffering morning sickness
• Presenting a talk about compassion for our colleagues and students on the big stage at Internet Librarian International while heavily pregnant – I teetered a bit too close to the edge 
• Passing my driving test at the third attempt when eight month’s pregnant (it was a busy year)
• Breastfeeding my two little ones, despite working full-time
• Starting a new job two weeks before going on maternity leave
• Receiving my coaching qualification

These all required bravery and resilience yet I’d forgotten some of them. So I’m partly writing this post as a reminder to myself that I am enough, but also to you. When you’re going through a tough patch it can be helpful to look back and think how you’ve done it all before.

Chicago!

What are you proud of?

Being vulnerable. Being seen.

Brené Brown's talk on Netflix is proving incredibly popular in the online circles I visit. I finally got round to watching it this weekend. In it, she talks about being 'seen' and about having the courage to be vulnerable enough to let this happen. She's also very funny.

I want to tell you about my recent adventure in West Wales and how I inadvertently put this into practice.

A family get-together

I've recently returned from a big family get together in West Wales. This may sound like a lovely event; however, I was quite nervous about it. It is a long drive from where I live and, with a pre-schooler and toddler in the car, it wasn't going to be easy. It was with family I knew very little of - they are relatives on my mother-in-law's side with whom she has lost contact over the years. They're also mainly French (I know some German and Spanish but my French is scratchy). I'm an introvert at the best of times so being 'on' for a full week with no let up sounded exhausting.

I prepared myself by:

• fitting in 5 minutes of Duolingo French every night for six months. This meant I could understand the gist of conversations
• picking out elements that I intended to enjoy (the beautiful scenery, the novelty of seeing somewhere new)
• deciding not to be 'on' but just be myself

Reader, it was actually really nice. Yes, there was screaming. No, it wasn't me. And it wasn't always my children either! Mine actually slept for a decent amount of time

We celebrated two birthdays while we were there, mine included. These brought everyone together with cakes, candles, and lots of wine. I didn't try to achieve anything except have fun with my children. I didn't go with too many expectations, I didn't put my reserves up and I possibly cried a bit too often (I blame the lack of sleep). I had some lovely, thoughtful, conversations with interesting individuals. People were attentive and kind. And for the first time, in a long time, I felt seen.

I hadn't quite realised how special this feeling is. I provide this experience with people I coach and people who I help in their academic practice at work. I am attentive and they often cry. Being on the receiving end (and seeing it encapsulated in Brené's show) made me realise just how important it is to be really, truly noticed - even if just for a brief moment - before we go back to our normal, everyday lives.

A few other things I've been up to:

Coaching supervision - learning about set-up meetings. In our coaching community the set-up meeting involves both the person being coached and their line manager so conversation requires handling with care.

Academic Practice - Mainly marking portfolios and attending various panel meetings. Arranging conversations with those who require extra support to pass. Organising, planning and teaching an Introduction to Teaching day for our Demonstrators and Graduate Teaching Assistants in the Engineering Departments.

Reading - I'm currently halfway through each of these:

• The Courage to Teach by Parker. J. Palmer - a thoughtful book about how, as we learn about our teaching identity, we can discover techniques which strengthen and reveal who we are rather than using 'tips and tricks' to hide behind
• Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver - a beautiful book, inside and out, which focuses on simplifying aspects of our lives to invite more space and connection in
• Gut by Giulia Enders - my eldest was born with neonatal bacterial meningitis and needed antibiotics for the first 12 days of his life. This book outlines to a small extent what the impact of this might be and how I could potentially rectify some of it.

Does this post resonate with you? Have you seen Brené's show?Have you been 'seen' or do you pull up the barriers?

*this post contains affiliate links which helps my family and I to pursue our dreams. I only link to items I know and have used/read.

Reflecting and renewing...slowly (and dryly).

Happy New Year, everybody! I hope it's not too late to say that!

I find January an odd month - a time for reflection, often full of resolutions to do better, with an urgent appeal from all around us to stop doing this, start doing that and do it all right this minute. This is juxtaposed with it being winter - cold, wet, and the time for hibernation. I generally have a slow and steady approach at this time of year. From the Winter Solstice celebrations on 22nd December, the days slowly become lighter and this is how I like to approach the forthcoming seasons too - gradually.

As I work in the education sector I feel I get several times to reflect and renew throughout the year, spring being one and then the start of the new academic year in September so there is no rush to get everything done at once...

What I've been up to this month:

Coaching:

The second module is over. My first and second learning log have been completed and handed in, as has my first assignment. My coaching practice is well underway. I've coached six times now, which is obviously not much at all, but with each hour I put in I am learning more. It's also really helping my conversations with the new staff at the University who are taking the Post-Graduate Certificate in Academic Practice (PgCAP).

Academic Practice:

Some teaching, but mainly meetings, marking and more marking. I am currently marking PgCAP portfolios and with many of them it feels such an absolute privilege. The amount of effort many of the new staff have put in, the way they have engaged and the level of personal detail they have included about what fires them up about teaching is lovely to read.

Dry January:

I don't normally bother with these types of challenges as I don't drink that much - a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend - but I thought I'd give it a go. While it's had the opposite effect to my waistline that I hoped for (as I've reached for the chocolate as an alternative) I do get through the sleepless nights with my children a little easier.

What I've been reading:

Questioning Vygotsky's legacy? Edited by Anton Yasnitsky
Muse by Jesse Burton of The Miniatiarist fame
Psychologies magazine - I treated myself to the Black Friday subscription deal and it's very much the gift that keeps on giving with added Facebook groups and life coaching workshops
Performance Coaching Carol Wilson
Cheaters on Twitter: an analysis of engagement approaches of contract cheating services
Hancock, J (2018) 'Engaging with Liminalities and Combating Toxicity: A Compassionate Approach to Developing Professional Identities for PhD Students Who Teach' Journal of perspectives in applied academic practice, 6 (3)

Recommended site:

The Pool - I absolutely love this. I've been signed up to the Editor's Circle too which for £3 gets you freebies and an extra letter from the editor (although sadly this has now just stopped). I like how the daily updates tell you roughly how long the article will take to engage with - useful for when you're sat down to feed the baby or have a few moments while waiting for someone to arrive for a meeting :) And that it's a mixture of serious stuff and superficial shopping/beauty stuff too.


Facebook groups - Having a full-time job and a young family with no support network means I don't have the opportunity to talk to anyone outside of these environments. I've recently joined a few groups in Facebook and it has been nice to be able to dip in occasionally, get advice if needed and give support if I can help. It keeps me from being in my own little bubble too much.


How's your January looking so far?

2018: Reflections and the year ahead

My aims for last year were a bit different to usual in that I was on maternity leave for the majority for it. My primary aim was, of course, to look after my new baby which meant I also got to spend some lovely time with my three year old too, including attending my first ever Teddy Bear parachute!

Teddy Bear, GO!

Positives:

Travel - I had aimed to see a bit more of the UK and, while I didn't get around as much as I liked, I did manage to revisit the New Forest, view a farmhouse in Newark, touch the stones at Avebury, attend a castle wedding in Coleford, spend some time at various beaches on the English south coast, and fall in love with the Welsh Gower Peninsula.



Home - I am very fortunate to be a homeowner, albeit of a quite shabby interior and exterior! I never seem to have the time, money, or skills to sort it out; however, I was able to arrange for quite a few bits to be fixed up, including a new kitchen, sorting out the damp in my son's room and a few other bits and bobs.

Red faced evidence of race

Exercise - I kept my yoga practice to a relatively consistent level even if it meant doing it at home with both children and the cat climbing over me. I even got chance to visit the Om Yoga Show at Ally Pally and both children demonstrated some pretty good downward dogs. I'm still hoping to learn to teach this one day and maybe they could be my assistants. Quite surprisingly, I also managed to complete a 5k Race for Life with little practice and my timing wasn't too shoddy for me.

Challenges:

Work - Returning to work after maternity leave is never easy and returning to a brand new job when living on fumes makes it even more difficult. I feel like I'm finding my feet and the team are great; however, it's not quite as easy to slot back in. Spending five days a week from my children is tough but I am enjoying the reduction in meetings and I certainly feel that I am able to offer more to others.

Home - My husband and I currently tag-team the child care which means little time to see each other. This also means that much of the house and the garden especially are being neglected, e.g. our fences have practically collapsed and we haven't had the opportunity to get them fixed. This is going to have to be a priority for next year.

Health - I started off the year with a C-section infection, which luckily cleared up with a very mild dose of antibiotics so I could still breast-feed, alongside many dental appointments as a result of my managing to knock my teeth out due to pregnancy clumsiness. A lack of sleep and now a lack of time to exercise makes staying healthy challenging - I have never eaten so much chocolate!

Aims:

• Make sure I use my lunch breaks to get away from a screen
• Have a go at some HIIT sessions as the short amount of time they take could fit in with my schedule more effectively
• It's the last year before my eldest is in school which means it's the last opportunity to take holidays outside of term-time. I hope to see a few more places and I will be making more use of my National Trust card
• Continue decluttering. I have been doing #project333 since returning to work and it makes the morning routine a little quicker - thanks Jo Walley for introducing it to me. I'm now starting to look at other areas - kid's toys, maybe?
• Keep up with my coaching qualification - it's consuming but rewarding and it is filtering down into my work and home which is great
• Keep up the yoga - it's the only think that keeps me sane. That, and chocolate!

How did you develop last year? What do you plan to do in 2019? Feel free to reply in the comments!

Identity, coaching and my new job.

So I'm still no wiser as to what I should be calling myself - educational developer, information professional, trainee coach, new mum, lapsed vegetable grower, wannabe yoga teacher or to quote Hannah Gadsby - tired, just tired. Ideas on a postcard please; (I'm not worried about this as they are all me but it is a messy way of introducing yourself).

Tired

What I've been up to this month

New job:

I am fully immersed in the new job and it has primarily involved getting up to speed with how things work - no mean feat halfway through term and it has been a whirlwind of teaching observations, providing feedback, and writing that up for those observed to reflect on. My persuasion skills have been put to the test as I've had to encourage academics to sign up for activities - some things never change! I am providing the mentoring workshops for more experienced academics who are interested in supporting those through the Fellowship (of the Higher Education Academy) process and putting together activities for this has helped me put my teaching hat back on.

I started the coaching course:

So far, I have had an induction day and we have completed the first module, bar assignments, learning logs, coaching diaries, collecting of testimonies - there's a lot of work involved! I am really enjoying it though and it is an amazing feeling when you see the person you are coaching have a moment of realisation about themselves and know that you helped them to do that. I have three people lined up to start working with and I am really looking forward to it.

What I've been reading:

Various bits on coaching, education and lifestyle

• Wild by Cheryl Strayed - remarkable book. I wanted to go hiking as soon as I put it down
• The Scholarship of Teaching and Learning: A Personal Account and Reflection
• Beth Kempton's beautiful book, Wabi Sabi - one to keep referring back to
• Little bits of a coaching book I won years go - An introduction to coaching skills by Christian van Nieuwerburgh
• Ranieri, M., Raffaghelli, J. E., & Bruni, I. (2018). Game-based student response system: Revisiting its potentials and criticalities in large-size classes. Active Learning in Higher Education. Draeger, John. (2013) Why bother with the scholarship of teaching and learning? InSight: A Journal of Scholarly Teaching, 8 p12-19.
• Shulman, Lee (2011) The scholarship of teaching and learning: a personal account and reflection. International Journal for the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning. Vol 5 (1).

Recommended site:

Duolingo - I've been using this free mobile language gaming app to practice French for ten minutes every day. I'll be going on holiday with some French relatives of my husband's next year and need to gain some language skills. It's really easy to fit into my life (I practise while feeding my youngest) and it is quite fun to use.


What have you been up to this month? Any comments or tips to share?

The mummy returns: part two...

So after quite a gap since my last post, I am back to writing on this blog. I may have disappeared from here and Twitter for a while; however, I did emerge briefly to write a post for the Reallife Fit on self-care and well-being before retreating back to life with a pre-schooler and baby and all that that entails (mainly tears - of laughter, joy, anger, sadness and frustration).

Reading back my post from the last time I returned from maternity leave I'm surprised at how raw it still feels.

I hadn't recovered mentally or physically when I went back and (I realise I am lucky compared to some countries who get no or little maternity leave - looking at you America) but I had little financial choice so it was the way it had to be. Luckily this child didn't have neonatal meningitis or reflux and while it wasn't a walk in the park - prolonged jaundice, scar infections etc - we're doing okay. This time taking a longer leave of absence has addressed some of those emotional and physical demons and laid them to rest. Some...not all.

This time I have two little ones at home being looked after by their dad during the week while we tag team childcare. I am returning to a job I am very excited about and I have recently found out I have been accepted on a programme to do a Level 5 Coaching and Mentoring qualification - which I am absolutely thrilled with. I've been trying to get on this course for YEARS - I may have mentioned it once or twice in my posts!

As the seasons shift...

It has been a bit of an identity shift moving jobs too. I will be spending my time with academic staff rather than students and I am no longer working in a library or employed as an information professional. While I am still a member of CILIP and therefore still a qualified chartered librarian, I am not sure how much longer I will retain that part of my identity. I will need to change the strapline of my blog - or do I scrap this one and start again? It seems a shame to lose all that content, especially as lots of it is still linked to what I do.

My path is now veering away from budgets and research databases and much more towards education, coaching and developing people - the element of all my previous roles I have most enjoyed and valued. A condition of my probation is that I will gain Senior Fellow status of the Higher Education Academy so I expect I will be busy this academic year.

I am considering blogging about both my journey to becoming a Senior Fellow and a qualified coach. If this is something you would be interested in please let me know via the comments.