2020: Reflections and the year ahead

I wasn't sure whether to write a reflection post this year. I feel grateful that I've got through 2020 and I know that, despite many challenges, I am one of the lucky ones - I still have my job, my children and no-one I know has died from Covid. But I know that many aren't so fortunate - they have lost jobs, homes and loved ones. I don't want to add to comparison-itis, something I mentioned in last year's reflection post.

I teach others about the importance of reflection so I have decided to go ahead: writing my thoughts helps me to process them and it is often enlightening to go back several months or even years later.

I started 2020 with a determined sense of purpose. Having gone through a tough few years, I was ready to get back into writing, presenting, and expanding my travelling experiences. In preparation, I renewed the family passports in January and earmarked Eurostar tickets - isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?! I also wanted to increase my work from home time. I did gain this at least in 2020 but I wasn't banking on two small children being with me for the majority of it!

Positives and challenges

Health:

My first week in lockdown was spent being ill. I was feverish and my breathing was pretty shocking. I recovered relatively quickly, apart from my breathing which took a few months to return completely to normal. Despite that, my exercise became more consistent and I increased my time in the garden as we couldn't go out. I find growing veg helps me to feel calmer and as I could do bits during the week I felt there wasn't so much pressure to do everything at the weekend. There was some important family health news too which was helpful to receive.

My back and my weight didn't respond quite so well to lockdown. I had walked a lot on campus from meeting to meeting which was replaced by walking to the kitchen between Zoom and Teams meetings and sitting down at the laptop a lot. There was many a piece of chocolate consumed as I stopped the kids from fighting while trying to teach and record videos! I am very grateful for my yoga teacher training at this point as I know it could have been a lot worse. 

Home:

Spending more time with my small children, while stressful due to combining with a full-time job, was a definite positive. I was able to eat with them three times a day and even the cat enjoyed us all being together. We had an indoor Glastonbury Festival, baked and crafted. I pulled down a shed, painted fences and found a variety of wildlife in the garden. When the first lockdown eased, we made it to the sea which was a much needed respite. I worked on my yoga teacher training through the year and aimed to complete it by 2021. I didn't quite make it but, considering everything, I haven't done too badly - I have just one assignment left to do!

Like many juggling work and parenting, I felt I was failing at both. My brain was frazzled from too little sleep and I felt I wasn't always my most coherent in meetings. My children also had far too much tv and snacks and too often didn't get my full attention. When my eldest returned to school and struggled to settle in there were was many a time I was thankful my face mask soaked up my tears and muffled my sobs.

Professional:

I received my Senior Fellowship, wrote an article for Business Information Review, wrote a small piece for The Academic Woman and wrote a book chapter. I presented at the Accredited Programme Leader's Network, at Advance HE, and I was interviewed for Springboard - a women's development programme. I provided numerous mindfulness sessions voluntarily for the university's students and staff. I think I pretty much achieved the professional goals I set and some were made easier because conferences and events became virtual and therefore more accessible. I was even able to attend an outdoors coaching programme and Street Wisdom event which I would never have been able to do without them being available online.

For much of the year as my department was being shut down, I led several programme and pathways while facing the prospect of redundancy. I applied for a role in the new department and received it - moving from lecturer to senior lecturer in the process. I found this a lonely and isolating experience; however, I enjoyed the autonomy - something which Daniel Pink writes about in his book Drive as being one of the key factors of motivation.

Aims and plans for 2021:

Last year, I chose a word as a theme. It was semi-successful so I am going to try it again. This year it is Energy. I am going to focus on sustaining and creating my energy. There are some things I do which may seem bonkers to others (like doing a YTT in a pandemic, while working full-time and looking after two small children!) but they provide me with the energy to do some of the other activities which might otherwise be more draining. In the meantime,

• keep being present and do interesting activites/trips (pandemic permitting!) with my children

• I am going to complete my 200hr YTT and start the Yin specialist course

• I am going to continue focusing on teaching, coaching, presenting and writing

• I am going to be supporting a primary school with embedding a coaching culture and a love of reading as a Governor

• maintain my mindfulness workshops - I have started to align these with my yoga course

• I am going to work towards a long-term goal of gaining a PhD

• plan amazing ' one-day' future adventures (I want to see waterfalls, cherry blossom and the northern lights - any other suggestions are welcome)
  

I might not have made it on the Eurostar this year, but I survived 2020! Well done if you did too. Gratitude, yoga and an ability to 'go with the flow', plus a good amount of quality chocolate got me through; how about you?