Being vulnerable. Being seen.

Brené Brown's talk on Netflix is proving incredibly popular in the online circles I visit. I finally got round to watching it this weekend. In it, she talks about being 'seen' and about having the courage to be vulnerable enough to let this happen. She's also very funny.

I want to tell you about my recent adventure in West Wales and how I inadvertently put this into practice.

A family get-together

I've recently returned from a big family get together in West Wales. This may sound like a lovely event; however, I was quite nervous about it. It is a long drive from where I live and, with a pre-schooler and toddler in the car, it wasn't going to be easy. It was with family I knew very little of - they are relatives on my mother-in-law's side with whom she has lost contact over the years. They're also mainly French (I know some German and Spanish but my French is scratchy). I'm an introvert at the best of times so being 'on' for a full week with no let up sounded exhausting.

I prepared myself by:

• fitting in 5 minutes of Duolingo French every night for six months. This meant I could understand the gist of conversations
• picking out elements that I intended to enjoy (the beautiful scenery, the novelty of seeing somewhere new)
• deciding not to be 'on' but just be myself

Reader, it was actually really nice. Yes, there was screaming. No, it wasn't me. And it wasn't always my children either! Mine actually slept for a decent amount of time

We celebrated two birthdays while we were there, mine included. These brought everyone together with cakes, candles, and lots of wine. I didn't try to achieve anything except have fun with my children. I didn't go with too many expectations, I didn't put my reserves up and I possibly cried a bit too often (I blame the lack of sleep). I had some lovely, thoughtful, conversations with interesting individuals. People were attentive and kind. And for the first time, in a long time, I felt seen.

I hadn't quite realised how special this feeling is. I provide this experience with people I coach and people who I help in their academic practice at work. I am attentive and they often cry. Being on the receiving end (and seeing it encapsulated in Brené's show) made me realise just how important it is to be really, truly noticed - even if just for a brief moment - before we go back to our normal, everyday lives.

A few other things I've been up to:

Coaching supervision - learning about set-up meetings. In our coaching community the set-up meeting involves both the person being coached and their line manager so conversation requires handling with care.

Academic Practice - Mainly marking portfolios and attending various panel meetings. Arranging conversations with those who require extra support to pass. Organising, planning and teaching an Introduction to Teaching day for our Demonstrators and Graduate Teaching Assistants in the Engineering Departments.

Reading - I'm currently halfway through each of these:

• The Courage to Teach by Parker. J. Palmer - a thoughtful book about how, as we learn about our teaching identity, we can discover techniques which strengthen and reveal who we are rather than using 'tips and tricks' to hide behind
• Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver - a beautiful book, inside and out, which focuses on simplifying aspects of our lives to invite more space and connection in
• Gut by Giulia Enders - my eldest was born with neonatal bacterial meningitis and needed antibiotics for the first 12 days of his life. This book outlines to a small extent what the impact of this might be and how I could potentially rectify some of it.

Does this post resonate with you? Have you seen Brené's show?Have you been 'seen' or do you pull up the barriers?

*this post contains affiliate links which helps my family and I to pursue our dreams. I only link to items I know and have used/read.