One year into the PhD - the journey so far

 A year ago, almost to the day, I started my part-time PhD. I can’t believe that time has disappeared already and that is more than a little scary.

I’m writing this post firstly to help me keep track of where I am, secondly to be able to look back on this one day when I have my doctoral robes (sadly no sword for us in the UK – very envious of Finland!), and thirdly, because I would have liked to have read a post from someone in a similar position and I haven’t found much. Hopefully this will help someone in the future. For context, I work full-time, am a single mum to two little ones, am a primary school governor, and due to a variety of reasons I don’t get much in the way of practical support.

Doing a PhD had been on my radar for about eight years, although I hadn’t pinpointed an actual topic or idea how I could actually fit it in. In 2021, I recognised that I couldn’t wait anymore, that there was never going to be a perfect time, and that I needed to move forward with my life -  so I started the conversations and started putting together a research proposal. In early 2022, I was interviewed for the place and was accepted. And it’s been quite the year since.

Due to working mainly with people either with or on their way to obtaining their PhDs, I was under no illusion of the stress and challenges – my Twitter feed is full of it. However, my plan of working everyday 8-10pm did not work as I would regularly fall asleep and my brain was in no place to think. I hadn’t banked on that as I have managed to lead programmes (including the department during the first year of Covid lockdowns); complete a 500-hour yoga teacher training course; deliver national and international conference sessions; and write – all while on little sleep and a slightly fuzzy head. It turns out I can’t do a PhD like that.

More recently, I have managed to find some ways of working that suited me, found some helpful podcasts/Youtube videos and been introduced to some supportive online communities. I did go through a sticky patch at the latter end of last year due to some significant school challenges and some complications in the divorce process, which corresponded with seemingly never-ending children’s sickness bugs – to the extent that abeyance was mentioned.

Since then radical acceptance, prioritisation and organisation has been key.

Snowdrops: they seem delicate but can withstand challenging environments - I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere :)

What has been challenging?

Finding thinking and writing time: This is the most crucial for me. I now get up quite early in the morning and after the cat is fed and I have done some gentle yoga, I spend time on the PhD. Previously I had let it go weeks as I felt I needed large chunks of time. While that would be lovely, I need to work with what I have. I aim to touch the PhD every day and usually write 200/250 words a day. It’s not much but it all adds up.

Balancing all the things: Most self-help gurus will say focus on one thing and do it well. However, when you have responsibilities and mouths to feed this isn’t always practical. My yoga teaching and coaching are on hold; however, I do the occasional voluntary session at work to keep my skills fresh and I incorporate the principles of both into my teaching. I could potentially give up the governor position; however, after seeking advice from someone I respect, I have now clarified my role. As a result, I have added value (the school now have three core values rather than substantially more) and I appreciate the friendship and support they have provided.

Isolation: My work is very people-focussed and facing so I don’t feel like I am missing out in terms of contact with others. If anything, I can find it tiring. Although rather disturbingly, during the lockdowns, I realised that quarantine had become my usual lifestyle. However, there’s something to be said for being with people who understand and truly see you and this is why the word ‘connection’ has become a bit of a theme this year.

What has made life easier?

 My supervisors: They are amazing, lovely and kind. They know I can be hard on myself so they are clear and gentle with their criticism. I need them to not sugarcoat but also not be brutal and they do this well.

Changing my environment: I work on my day job between campus and home and when at home I migrate between the table, a desk in my bedroom or the settee.  At the moment, every two to three months, I do get a day or two to myself in which I study and I find working elsewhere useful. So far, I have used postgraduate research rooms, the public  library and have ventured to the British Library. If I combine it with a parkrun or some yoga, it can feel like a retreat. (I was recently going to apply for a single mum’s writing retreat but after they received approx. 700 applications I decided not to – there’s clearly a need for it!)

Friendship: Several individuals have cheered me on and made me both laugh and reflect through the last year.  They are all wonderful human beings and I appreciate every one of them.

Going forwards, I really need to crack on with my literature review but, in the meantime,  I am sat next to my youngest who has spent the last few days vomiting. As I said, radical acceptance is key!

I’d love to hear your experiences. Feel free to share them in the comments.