Working from home while looking after our children and our well-being

This is a post for all the academic and librarian parents who are currently working from home, home-schooling the kids and keeping the house from becoming dangerous and unsanitary, while doing their best to look after their own mental health.

I keep receiving marketing emails asking me what I'm doing with all my free time?!

I suspect their target audience aren't working from home, home-schooling, and looking after a toddler and cat - the latter who still hasn't got the memo that 5.30am is not a good time to miaow for breakfast!

Naughty Loki!

So what are you doing to stay sane while you try not to be bitter about those who complain to be bored? Such little imagination! Personally, I would be reading all the things, baking all the things, becoming fluent in French, fixing up my garden and planning my adventures for when Covid-19 (also known as 'all this stuff') is no longer a massively disrupting force in our lives.

Instead, this week I am mainly holding back-to-back formative assessments via Skype, while my 5 year old argues that he is the teacher and will take the register (he's already told me the passcode for the school's reception!).

So here are a few tips on keeping your cool:

Go easy on yourself and everybody 

Your kids will be anxious, as will your students and yourself. It's an unusual time with lots of uncertainty. Do what you can to maintain some normalcy. Reassure them. With regards to teaching, it can take a lot of time and skill to develop fantastic online courses so be kind to yourself and just focus on the essential learning outcomes. The bells and whistles can be added a bit later. Can the activity be changed? Does it really have to be synchronous?

Let it go

Yes, there are selfish people stockpiling formula and toilet rolls. Yes, there will be people emailing you to say they are frustrated as they've had to deal with changed assessments and are worried about loved ones while you want to say, erm, hello. But - we don't have control over other's actions and feelings, only our own. At some point, unless we can do something directly about it, it's best to focus on the good that people are doing.

Find a routine that works for you

For me, I am chunking appointments and everything else is working on the premise of little and often. I'm currently: writing a chapter, an article, changing the way I teach and providing support for people on the courses I run. By fitting something from all of these into my calendar, even if I only manage a small fraction, I am still moving forwards on everything. Others may find that doing a day on and a day off works better, perhaps alternating with a partner if one is available. There are many factors to take into consideration, from the age of your kids to who has wi-fi priority, so it may take a while to find a rhythm.

Get some fresh air/exercise (ideally both) if you can

For some this will be easier than others. I'm lucky that I have a garden, although it's in a sorry state, so I can hang my washing out, plant some seeds and blow bubbles with the children and we can all blow off some steam. Social distancing can still involve a run or a walk outside as long as we stay away from people and wash our hands thoroughly, although I haven't done this yet. Additionally, there are plenty of free yoga, HIIT and other exercise videos freely available on YouTube. I like Yoga with Adrienne and The Body Coach (in small doses) and the kids like Cosmic Kids and Jump Start Jonny.

Use all media mindfully

Like many others, I was avidly listening to the radio, watching the news and following social media for updates. I felt myself getting tense, scared and crying occasionally. This week has been so busy with the kids and the assessments that I've barely had time to look. Social media has long since been my way of keeping in touch since I had children so I won't be logging off; however, a little recalibration is very useful to ensure we spend time looking at what is helpful to us or where we can be of use to others. 

Ultimately, this is going to be our new normal for a while. The easier we can make it for ourselves  and those around us the better it will be.

What's your approach? What are you doing to look after yourself?

My Senior Fellowship experience

I have been awarded Senior Fellow status of Advance HE. While I started writing and thinking about Senior Fellowship just over a year ago, my Senior Fellowship experience began, although unknowingly at the time, at the Aurora programme I attended in 2016. At Aurora I defined my values, my strengths and my skills. This in turn led me to changing roles from an Academic Librarian to a Lecturer in Higher Education. This move allowed me to be less constrained by budget limitations and make more of an impact on teaching and learning development. In my interview for the role, I was asked to present my approach to helping staff develop their practices and it was here I first chose to define my coaching approach. It was this coaching approach I developed into my Senior Fellow application.

My reasons for applying

Primarily, it was a pre-requisite of my probation in my new role. however, having previously completed my Fellowship application in 2015 I was aware of the value of the process. This value is what I reiterate to those who have also been told they must achieve it - yes, there are boxes to be ticked, but the space and time to reflect and discover can, unfortunately, be a rare thing. This process provides that space and time.

My process

I started by looking at the criteria and considering my case studies. I had been on maternity leave just prior to writing it so was acutely aware that some of my experience may seem out of date. As part of my role at the University, I sit on panels where people who apply for Senior Fellowship are routinely referred as they don't fit specific criteria. This meant I was able to pick up tips, which helped. I  advise, coach and train others to achieve accreditation; however, taking your own advice, as so often in life, can be challenging. I also had a different format to follow as I applied directly to Advance HE to avoid any ethical conflicts. Advance HE currently requires two case studies, one reflective account, and two references which may be different to those who go through their University's accreditation schemes. 

While I had a loose plan, I actually took a different approach to usual and used Julia Cameron's morning pages method of just writing and writing, and writing some more without worrying about making sense - to the point that when I looked again at the word count I was shocked to discover I had double the total wordcount! I'm not sure I'd recommend this approach. While I found it to be quite cathartic, I really did feel like I was then killing my darlings as I omitted whole sections when editing.


Drafts, drafts, drafts - don't necessarily mean perfection

So many drafts to the point I was fed up of it and wanted to hand the whole thing in. I would strongly recommend getting other people's eyes on it; however, I'd advise not having too many. I received conflicting advice and at one point began to question my own judgment which added to the challenges. Ultimately, I am grateful for the people who took time out of their routines to read and offer their opinions and I gained from each of the interactions. My final draft was given to one of my references who told me that, yes, while small tweaks could be made, it was suitable for submission. My old self would have jumped on that comment and 'corrected' those areas; however, done is better than perfect, so I sent it in.

Waiting to hear

I knew it would be a long time to hear back, so I had almost forgotten about it until a fellow Auroran announced she'd received hers. I was hoping I had passed as I don't like revisiting and redrafting something once I have emotionally and psychologically said goodbye to it. I was relieved indeed to receive an email soon after which announced I could now use the SFHEA post nominals.

Going forwards

I continue to keep my teaching notebook for jotting down a few thoughts after my classes. I continue to be interested in how using a coaching approach in higher education can improve both practice and wellbeing simultaneously. I will shortly be speaking at both the Accredited Programme Leader's Network and the Advance HE learning and Teaching Conference on various aspects of this topic. I also have a few writing projects in the pipeline. Paying it forwards, I would be absolutely delighted to help, coach or mentor anyone whose goal it is to achieve FHEA or SFHEA accreditation.

And, just for my mum, - my full post-nominals are BA (Hons), MA (Lond) MCLIP SFHEA.

Being organised when there are multiple demands on your time

I recently wrote a blog post on tools I use to keep organised. It was one of my most popular posts so, keeping with a theme, I thought I’d share with you how I make the most of time. Take from it what you find useful and ignore the rest.

I’ve read we all have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé. That, of course, is true but most of us tend to live very different lifestyles and time can feel very different when there are numerous demands on it.

I also think many tips on productivity seem to be written by (and for) people who are able to get a full night’s rest whenever they choose, have a cleaner or family on hand to help out, or just don’t have young, gorgeous but quite sticky mitts and faces to extricate from work clothes.

So, here’s some of the ways I make it work:

Consider what we’re saying yes to:

I was asked this question by a coach. What are you agreeing to and why? Do you want to be signed up for these things? For example, a lot of women who go on maternity leave end up taking up the slack when it comes to house-hold stuff because they are home. Their main role is supposed to be keeping the new baby alive and content and healing themselves. When they go back to work those tasks don’t seem to be divvied up again. This happened to me too, despite me being the one who works full-time. My only solution so far is to reduce what I have and only buy essential stuff. This makes cleaning and tidying easier.

One thing I have said yes to is walking across campus for meetings. I like to keep this even though it may seem inefficient. It gets me away from the computer and outside for my daily Vitamin D. It also reminds anyone who sees me that I still exist beyond email!

Consider what we’re saying no to:

By saying yes to some things, we are automatically saying no to others. By being conscious of the reasons we are saying no we can do so calmly and without guilt. I’ve been saying no to some things recently. Even though I’d like to do them, they don’t quite add enough value to be worth giving up other stuff I want to do. I know I just don’t have the capacity to take on ‘all the things’ and wouldn’t do the job well. It’s good to keep pushing at the edges (that’s where the interesting stuff happens) but not get to the point where we can’t cope.

Chunking (and protecting) time:

On very busy days I will schedule all my meetings back to back in a centrally located space. It’s halfway located between my office and theirs so shows compromise. If people are late they get less time. If they need more they will then need to make another appointment – currently I don’t have a limit on these but this may change in future. It means I don’t offer an extra well-meaning ten minutes for someone who’s very late. I also chunk marking, email and writing up observation forms.

Using liminalities of time: 

Conversely, there’s always time in between meetings. Time where people have failed to show up. Time in between appointments. I keep a book, a notepad and my phonecharger on me at all times so I can always make the most of those precious few minutes. I don’t start big tasks here or ones that require too much concentration, like marking, but I might start planning something which I can pick up later or answer a few emails. 

Being aware of and using energy wisely: 

Many productivity gurus will say get up at 5am. They'll say use this time to journal, meditate and go for a run. When you don’t know when the kids will wake up and have no-one to watch them while you go for a shower (never mind a run) this can be tricky. I’m generally up at 5.45am every morning (not out of choice) and still get woken up several times through the night (this isn’t as frequent as it used to be) so sleep is a BIG priority. I am also at my most creative and productive in the mornings. As a result, where possible I schedule my teaching, training, planning and writing for then. I aim to have my meetings in the afternoon. I never skip meals as I know this wrecks my energy levels. I can't do large bouts of exercise without being interrupted but can just about do ten minutes of yoga or HIIT with the children and cat climbing on me and joining in - this keeps my energy and sanity levels okay-ish.

Being present with my children

Evenings and weekends are for my children. They are young and need, nay, demand my attention! I’m happy to give it to them. While I still check my phone occasionally to avoid any nasty surprises come Monday morning, I rarely answer email then. This is the time when I take us all to the woods which I find benefits us all. When they’ve gone to sleep, I have about two hours to have dinner then choose to either blog, do my yoga course, plan my coaching business or read. Or just go to bed.

What are your tips and tricks? What are you saying yes and no to? Where are you using your energy? Leave a comment below.