'You don't have to move fast or far.
You can go just an inch.
You can mark your progress breath by breath'
Cheryl Strayed.
There seems to be a panic in the air, or at least over social media, about the upcoming decade. People are listing their achievements and challenges from the last ten years while others are complaining that it creates a fervour of comparison-itis. There are posts all over the place saying 'make this the decade that counts' or words to similar effect. It can be exhausting.
We all have our own personal challenges and areas we want to grow and flourish in.
It can be so difficult to not compare, especially when brought up in a culture of scarcity, and then berate ourselves for falling short.
Every December I post about the challenges and positives I have experienced in the previous year with some overarching aims for the next. This year is no different. My goals are not just short-term actions to do and tick off. Instead, they help me move towards the type of person I want to be - a healthier, happier, more present version of myself.
Writing these helps me reflect and I like having something to come back to later on down the line when I'm having a bad day/week/month and realise that while I may sometimes be moving slowly - I am still moving! Having children can slow us down and this comes with both positives and negatives. I hope this helps you in some way too.
I've considered choosing a word like some do to guide my life. I like the idea but can't come to a decision - I am currently hovering between 'love' and 'flourish'. The former has been inspired by bell hook's book 'All about Love'. Another post on this will come later.
So on with my year:
Positives
Health: One of my aims was to spend more time away from my desk at lunchtime and increase my exercise. We had a gorgeous summer in the UK so this made it much easier. I ate lunches outside and I held lots of my coaching and meetings outdoors too. This had a positive impact on my mental health and helped others too. I reduced my alcohol intake to almost nothing (apart from an erroneous week in May) which increased my patience and clarity. I increased my exercise by doing HIIT and yoga most mornings. The HIIT increased my energy levels and while I found it too much to do every morning (trying to exercise with two small children and a cat is challenging!) I now have a regular-ish routine.
Home: A goal I had last year was to visit more places with my children before my eldest went to primary school. This was successful - I took them to Cardigan Bay in Wales, Legoland, Corfe Castle, Brownsea Island, various National Trust beaches, Whipsnade, Stonehenge, Avebury, and numerous parks and woods around the country. The kids and I had a lovely time together and this is something I will continue doing at the weekends and holidays. I also had most of my fences fixed (and sold stuff to pay for it so a decluttering win too) which means the kids can play outside more.
Work: I completed my coaching qualification and learned a lot about myself in the process. I submitted my Advance HE Senior Fellowship. I survived a restructure and took on a lot of new responsibilities for which I've received amazing feedback about. I was also headhunted for a really interesting job. A TIP: Always keep your CV up to date!
Challenges
Work: See above! A restructure and losing valuable members of our team was difficult and they are missed. I wasn't successful with the position I was headhunted for; however, it has opened up my eyes to my own value and the possibilities available. It gave me the opportunity to question and confirm my priorities and values so I am grateful.
Health/Home: There have been appointments, pain, operations and hospital stays for the majority of my family this year, myself included. It has led to much upset. Ultimately, we can only have so much influence and control. I use a technique with my students using the Circle of Concern and the Sphere of Influence - I have found it valuable myself in these situations.
Aims for 2020
- Keep being present and do interesting activities/trips with my children
- Complete the Yoga Teacher Training I have recently started. I'm looking forward to this as it is the perfect format for someone who works full-time and has two young children to support. I'll be looking for people to practice on...
- Maintain my coaching and mentoring - I intend to become accredited in the future so will be building up my hours. Let me know if you'd like to help me with this.
- Maintain my Mindfulness workshops - I will start to align these with my yoga course as it progresses
- Get out more - in work and home. I haven't been attending or speaking at events for a couple of years and I'm now ready to start doing this again.
How did you develop last year? What do you plan to do in 2020? Feel free to reply in the comments, especially if you can help me in my aims or I can help you in yours!
